A Blessingway is a mother centered alternative to the modern baby shower. It is a celebration of the mother to be where her close ones gather to wish her a safe and happy birth. It is a celebration that is void of dumb baby shower games and baby gifts wrapped in baby-bottle clad gift wrap.
True Blessingways are performed only by a Navajo medicine man and includes a spiritual song about the Dine myth. A Blessingway would be performed for anyone who has a new stage in life. For example; going off to war, having a new baby, etc. Unfortunately the Navajo people do not approve of the term "Blessingway" being used for well-meaning modern day mother blessings. For this reason some people call it a Mother Blessing. My circle of friends uses the word, "Blessingway" more often than mother blessing, and we mean no disrespect. We also have had "blessingways" for friends in new life situations (new home, divorce, moving on).
There are many ideas you can come up with to celebrate a woman with child and on the verge of childbirth. Giving the mother to be a foot bath/massage, brushing her hair, or rubbing her shoulders are nice things to do to relax the mother to be and set the mood for the blessing celebration. This should be done by someone very close to the mother so she is comfortable. My daughter Charlotte did my foot bath at my Blessingway.
Guests are often encouraged to bring various things. Some which include candles, blessings or wishes for the new baby on a piece of paper, a bead to be strung on a birth bracelet or necklace, and perhaps something for a blessing wreath. Some people bring a dinner dish for the mother to freeze that can be easy to reheat after the babies birth.
Guests are often greeted with a burning smudge stick of sage and the woman's home blessed and purified/ cleared with it. A good Home Blessing:
Smoke of air, fire and earth
Cleanse and bless this home and hearth
Drive away all harm and fear
Only good may Dwell in here
Since this celebration is to honor her as a woman and new mother, bringing something special for her is important. It can be special soaps, bath salts, comfy pajamas or birth oil. Something that lets her know you are honoring her as a friend, woman and mother. Other ideas are massage gift certificate, jewelry, books, candles and anything else she would enjoy. It is a nice touch to have each guest bring the mother their "offerings" or gifts to her one by one, and to say a few words of advice or encouragement to the mother. Often times baby showers are so baby gift focused we forget about the woman. It is she who is creating and carrying life. It is she who will be birthing a new child into the world. Honor her with a gift to remind her that she matters.
A birth wreath can be made of anything. Mine is pictured below. My friends decorated it with trinkets, jewels, seed pods, a pregnant felt birth goddess, poems, ribbon and beads. I also have a crown of flowers on my head. These touches add to the queen for a day feeling! This is about the mother. At modern baby showers mothers heads are adorned with a crown of plastic bows from gifts. Isn't a beautiful fresh flower crown so much more beautiful and powerful? I felt radiant. It also reminded me of a quote I like, "Hawaii is the only place they put flowers on you while you are still alive." 
Weaving a string around one ankle or wrist all of the guests and the mother is another neat thing you can do. When the string is cut each woman ties the piece around their ankle or wrist and keeps it on until the baby is born. This reminds everyone to give the mother good birth thoughts and vibes, and it reminds the mother of her support system.
Blessings written on paper can be handwritten or pre printed, if they are small you could tie them to candles and incorporate them into a chat or song. Call down a blessing is the song we use. It goes (insert a blessing in the blank):
Call down a blessing, Call down a blessing, Call down a blessing, call down. _______ before you, __________ behind you, ___________ within you, and around you. And repeat until all blessings are used. Blessing ideas are: trust, compassion, love, honesty, peace, beauty, humor, happiness.
Woman am I: This Chant/ song is a favorite with me and my friends. It goes like this: Woman am I, spirit am I, I am the infinite within my soul. I have no beginning and I have no end, all this I am. And you repeat 5 times. It's a beautiful tune. I'll try and get a recording of it and post it here some time.
As you can see there are many ideas for a Mother Blessing. Use your imagination and be creative and your loved one will have a special day to remember for a long time, not to mention a lot of support for the labor before her!
If you don't feel like anyone would throw you a Mother Blessing then throw one for yourself, or talk to a close friend about the idea. Though it is nicer when it is done for you, a simple Mother Blessing can be put together by you alone though, anything to honor you is important. Simple candles, beads, string and loved ones coming together can link people together and bring forth a very special connectedness. If you wish a quiet at home ritual or celebration that can be done by just you and your partner. If you have pictures of a special blessing or more ideas to share please write me at writeshauna@gmail.com
Spicing Up The Traditional Baby Shower
So you are going to a "traditional baby shower" and you want to bring something special and different. If you want to also bring a gift to honor the mother in a special way consider these tips:
- Bring her flowers or a plant.
- Paint / decorate a flower pot and fill it with goodies. I did this and filled it with homemade items like after-birth herbal sitz bath, body butter, teas, Etc.
- Make her a birth bracelet. If you have children they could participate in picking out the beads. Attach a small card that explains why you made the bracelet, and any wishes or blessings you have for her and her new baby.
- Soft comfy pajamas are always a great gift, and a great way to say that she is special and deserves to relax.
- A prenatal or postnatal massage is a great gift.
- A belly casting kit.
- Anything feminine. Natural body products, soaps, lotions and pampering items.
- A homecooked dish that can be frozen and reheated up easily for after the baby is born.
Don't forget dad...
Sometimes dads-to-be feel left out of the whole pregnancy thing and it sometimes gets worse after the baby is born. Some moms complain dads are not supportive of breast-feeding, and this is sometimes caused by a hubby that is jealous of the baby taking up all moms time. I usually include a small gift bag just for the dad to be filled with goodies like: A small book of quotes about fathers and children, beef jerky, mints, chewing gum, crackers and an energy drink. A lot of guests think it's a dads hospital-pack take along. And it very well could be.
You could get a little more elaborate with your gift than I tend to, but I always go for easy, and the snacks seem to go over well. Most importantly you have acknowledged his part in creating this little baby. It's about making the dad feel good so he supports mom! A small attached card adds the final touch. I make mine on the computer at home.
