I knew I wouldn't make it through the weekend without having the baby especially with the moon bright and full at 42 weeks pregnant.
Sunday August 1, 2004 I woke up at 4am as usual and rolled out of bed with a tender bladder and waddled to the bathroom with a hard painless contraction.
By the time I got to the toilet I realized my water had broken and was trickling out slowly. I told Ricky and laid back down waiting for contractions to start and they did a bit and it became very uncomfortable to hold still despite the fact I wanted to do nothing more than relax with Ricky's arms around me.
I went to the bathroom a few more times as Ricky watched and waited for what I might need or want to do next. After twenty minutes or so I was still just having contractions and sitting on the toilet not accomplishing much so I told him to go lay down and get some more rest. Ricky had been having very terrible wisdom tooth and jaw pain all weekend due to an abscessed tooth so I knew how tired he was. He reluctantly lay back down and I watched from the master bathroom as he dozed off and on.
I had work to do I decided. Contractions started coming very intensely and during them I leaned against the bathroom sink holding myself against the counter top palms down and applying as much pressure against the counter top as I could.
I took deep breaths and blew them out. Once the contraction started tapering off I began doing deep rhythmic squats. Up and down, up and down like I was working out. I then would start walking again. Around the house in a big circle and then back into the master bathroom less than 50 seconds later for another deep hard contraction against the bathroom sink.
During my walking I didn't have much time between contractions but I quickly lit candles, cleaned out the bath tub, had a sip of water, drew a bath and laid down towels on the bathroom floor.
During the squats I visualized the head moving down, pushing hard up against my cervix, my cervix dilating and my body being ready. I told her I loved her and to come to us. I thought about the night Ricky and I made her and how excited we have been getting ready for her. I talked and moaned and breathed through each contraction and kept on top of the pain.
I got into the bath tub at about 4:45 a.m. I didn't want to sit or lay, that was more painful. I was up and down in the tub. The water was soothing but not a place I could relax. Holding still hurt.
I remember thinking this hurts so much I can't wait for this to be over. I remember being glad Ricky was sleeping I didn't want anyone to talk to me or help me. How long can this go on for? This was so much different than Sage's unassisted birth (his contractions never let up and I couldn't walk but stayed on all fours).
Would I be in labor for longer? This didn't hurt as much, will it start to?
No, I thought, two hours tops that's all I will need to birth this baby. I also decided birth didn't need to hurt.
Don't look at the clock I thought; I don't want to know how long it's been or how much longer I might have. Then of course, from the bathroom I glanced up and the illuminating digits next to the bed from across the room caught my eye. To my surprise it was nearing 5:30am. Wow! I'm almost done lets get this baby out!
I went back to walking and visualizing round and round. I began to feel pressure. Then I got down on all fours. I started moaning and feeling tons of pressure from the head but no real pain. Just as I was thinking about waking up Ricky so he didn't miss the birth Charlotte appeared at the bathroom door very sleepy eyed. Her eyes widened and she instantly woke up and exclaimed, "The babies coming now?!?"
With a half grimaced smile (the pressure was really rolling over my pelvis and butt now!) I said, "Yes baby is almost here, leave mommy alone...grab a blanket and lie down and watch."
She did exactly that asking me only once if she could get me anything.
I was moaning through the contractions now and feeling so much pressure. I wasn't in pain really but the pressure on my rectum was just so so intense (imagine a grapefruit is trying to come out of your ass). Ricky started to wake up to my groans and asked how I was and gathered up the video camera. I told him the head was coming there was no time for video. Grab the snapshot camera and get in here! Soon Sage appeared sleepily to watch. (Unfortunately Ethan was at his grandparents house visiting and wasn't here)
I got up in a squat and moaned a little through the pressure and painless contractions. She started to crown and I told her I loved her and to come out. She was crowning as I applied light pressure to ease her head out.
I felt something strange on the side of her head. It was small and flat. Later I found out it was the tip of her ear. Her head was positioned and born slightly crooked I thought.
She crowned slowly and I let go of all my inhibitions. I was not afraid when the stretching sensation began to burn a bit. I will not tear I told myself, open and let this baby come out now.
Her head was born with her tiny hand resting along side her jaw. (She was born an avid thumb sucker, so I think she found her thumb in the womb and perhaps sucked it during labor!) I remember thinking how small her head was. I couldn't believe it. Her body started to slide slowly out of me, also crooked. Both shoulders appeared; I lowered myself resting her head to the floor. I tried to glide one shoulder out at a time, but she was born so fast and without effort, Ricky says both shoulders at once. I don't remember.
It was 6:07 A.M. when our little girl came into her new world.
(I'm glad Ricky looked at the time because I didn't ask until hours later!)
She gurgled, let out a tiny cry and then just looked at us. She was pinking up right away and I turned her over so she could drool out a small amount of fluid while I rubbed her back. She let out one small deeper cry, and then just looked at us contently.
Ricky and I decided we needed to video now and he got the camera.
What a pretty, happy, calm girl she was.
About this time I noticed her cord was really really short. I couldn't believe how short. The cord was so short it's no wonder she kicked about and wiggled but never changed positions in my womb. I swore the whole pregnancy I thought she was low because I thought the placenta was low, she was crooked and that she never changed positions. Looks like I was right on with my instincts!
I made my way to the bathtub with her and sat in there for a minute. Ricky and I chatted as he video taped me and I commented on how EASY the birth was. I was stunned really. I wasn't sweaty or out of breath. The video of this part is cute. I do not really look like I just gave birth.
Then I decided after a few minutes the easiest place to have the placenta come out would be the toilet. The placenta came out easily and Ricky fished it out and put it in a bowl. Then back in the bath I waited as Ricky sterilized the kitchen scissors.
Ricky cut the cord making our baby her very own person. We crawled into bed to snuggle and nurse her. I said over and over how easy the birth was. It was so easy and beautiful. I felt awesome! My pelvic outlet was a little tender (felt a little bruised) at the bones I think because of the unique position she was birthed in. Nothing else hurt though and I did not tear.
I wish I could find the words to express how rewarding birth is. How natural and wonderful and beautiful it is. She's sleeping on my lap and just stopped nursing. It's pure love so beautiful I could cry just thinking about it. :)
